current work

Black & White or Color?

I feel like I have such an aversion to promoting work in color. A lot of the time I feel like I have two clashing personalities, one that wants to make really introspective and weird pieces in black and white — and one that wants to have vibrant pops of color that create a really fun image. In art school, they usually tell you that you need to present only one perspective and distinctive brand to the world. This cultivates a unique style that people can recognize as your own. But artists (and humans in general) are multifaceted people. Who the hell decided that to “make it” as an artist you should only show one side of yourself to the world?

I love making work that explores the psychological. I love the thrill and mystery behind the stories I create and researching local history to enhance projects. And I love that that is what I have chosen to promote as my brand, but I don’t believe that that entirely encapsulates who I am as a person and even more importantly, as an artist.

I also enjoy making work that’s deeply personal. As a transgender man and as an artist I believe I can bring an underrepresented perspective to light within the art community and hopefully, our culture. I want to explore my unique experiences and how I relate to life and this career in uniquely different ways.

So I’ve decided that I’m also going to promote work that’s more fun and lively. I’m going to explore more in color and hopefully find some more facets of myself and my career I would like to explore – and hopefully I can share it all with you, because who says you can’t have it all?

Letting Go

I’ve been reading a lot of non-fiction books lately, mostly ones to do with creativity and building a brand and things like that. I currently have over 20 books checked out at the library where I work which is honestly a little excessive but who cares right? 

The common theme in most of these books seems to be that you have to let go of your expectations and just create. As a perfectionist, this is just about the best and worst advice I could ever be given. I always have this clear idea in my head of what I want something to be, and I have a lot of trouble letting go of that idea. Don’t get me wrong, I think you need some sort of direction for your work to go, if you have no idea what you’re doing you’re probably going to spend a lot of time with a blank page, but there has to be a balance.

From Lynda Barry’s What It Is.

I know that I also have a lot of expectations for my work once it’s out in the world, and I think that is something that I need to get rid of entirely. Being able to let go of pressure and just create is an amazing thing and really great for your work, but how the hell do you get there?  Think about what first drove you to create something. It wasn’t because you thought it would bring you fame and fortune (it’s the arts we’re talking about here people), it was because some part of you thought that this thing needed to exist. It didn’t exist already, and no one else could make it exactly just like you, so you decide to make it yourself. Most of the time, creating something comes with pure intentions. 

That’s not to say that we don’t all have that little voice in the back of our heads saying “but what if??” What if this is how I get famous? What if this makes me a ton of money? What if I can finally quit my day job? It’s natural to think about those things. It’s hard to bear your soul in your work and not expect anything back. You want your work to be great, to be seen, to be validated. In a way, it can be like your child, and we can all be protective and defensive. At the end of the day, all that matters is what you think of your work. Don’t shut out everyone's advice and opinions, peer critiques can be really helpful, but you need to shut out the idea that others’ opinions matter more than your own, and most importantly shut out the fear that comes with being seen.

From Austin Kleon.